Monday, March 31, 2008
Sunday, March 16, 2008
It tells its own story.
I've been repeatedly telling myself to wake up and not remain half asleep wherever i go or i am, appears that i couldn't get rid of this habit or should i say syndrome.
Been 3 weeks since i passed out and i'm already a close combat instructor. I feel quite proud to be one as it's one of the vocation that is hardest to get in in the SAF and also one of the vocation which holds high appointment in. However i realise within every organisation there are always politics involved, disputes will arise and people will quarrel, things like that are quite depressing to me as i'm a very peace-loving person. I hope this kind of things will not affect me much for the next 1 and the half year. Wouldn't the world be a better place if everyone can see the positive side of everything, think rationally, be honest and find peace in every situation?
Today is quite a life awakening situation for me, even though there are little things that had happened, it really opened my eye as to let me see what type of friends i have and what type of people are there around me. I was asked to join an online game by this good friend of mine, then he realise his another friend can play and not enough slot for him and that guy probably is a better player, so he thought of kicking me out of the game thinking that i alt tab and did not see what he typed. I immediately ask him to screw his mother and left saddened. Then this morning i came back from club and i was on a bus with one of my friend. She was actually my ex pri sch friend. She told me what my ex pri sch friend described me as. She said he told her i am a malicious playboy and probably will do every girl i came in contact with. Though it's not really an insult to a man like me, i actually began to wonder what are everyone's impression of me? And what do people i know says about me behind my back? Does everyone has to put a knife on their mouth when talking about their friends behind their back? Does a friend whom i know for almost a decade decided to backstab me just because of a game playing slot? Man what is this world coming to?
And i also realise that i am lacking alot in confident recently, don't know what happened, maybe because a few days ago when i was trying to display a cct technique and i kinda screw up, and this cci senior guy have to say something bad about me behind my back as if i cannot make it as a CCI....I am kind of wondering is all these badmouthing, backstabbing people behind their back is a natural human behaviour or an egoistic human behaviour. Do i really have to be an asshole for people to be afraid of me and respect me? An asshole as in a very stern and serious person and not someone who holds a relaxed face and takes things easily and get climbed over his head for just this reason.
Ahh... humans humans.... if there is a god, i think he made a mistake in creating us. All these hatred all these hypocrisy all these ugly personal behaviour. Maybe i'm just one of them without realising.
Been 3 weeks since i passed out and i'm already a close combat instructor. I feel quite proud to be one as it's one of the vocation that is hardest to get in in the SAF and also one of the vocation which holds high appointment in. However i realise within every organisation there are always politics involved, disputes will arise and people will quarrel, things like that are quite depressing to me as i'm a very peace-loving person. I hope this kind of things will not affect me much for the next 1 and the half year. Wouldn't the world be a better place if everyone can see the positive side of everything, think rationally, be honest and find peace in every situation?
Today is quite a life awakening situation for me, even though there are little things that had happened, it really opened my eye as to let me see what type of friends i have and what type of people are there around me. I was asked to join an online game by this good friend of mine, then he realise his another friend can play and not enough slot for him and that guy probably is a better player, so he thought of kicking me out of the game thinking that i alt tab and did not see what he typed. I immediately ask him to screw his mother and left saddened. Then this morning i came back from club and i was on a bus with one of my friend. She was actually my ex pri sch friend. She told me what my ex pri sch friend described me as. She said he told her i am a malicious playboy and probably will do every girl i came in contact with. Though it's not really an insult to a man like me, i actually began to wonder what are everyone's impression of me? And what do people i know says about me behind my back? Does everyone has to put a knife on their mouth when talking about their friends behind their back? Does a friend whom i know for almost a decade decided to backstab me just because of a game playing slot? Man what is this world coming to?
And i also realise that i am lacking alot in confident recently, don't know what happened, maybe because a few days ago when i was trying to display a cct technique and i kinda screw up, and this cci senior guy have to say something bad about me behind my back as if i cannot make it as a CCI....I am kind of wondering is all these badmouthing, backstabbing people behind their back is a natural human behaviour or an egoistic human behaviour. Do i really have to be an asshole for people to be afraid of me and respect me? An asshole as in a very stern and serious person and not someone who holds a relaxed face and takes things easily and get climbed over his head for just this reason.
Ahh... humans humans.... if there is a god, i think he made a mistake in creating us. All these hatred all these hypocrisy all these ugly personal behaviour. Maybe i'm just one of them without realising.
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