Oh gosh what am i doing spending the whole sunday sleeping? Stupid stupid, i just thrashed down the time i've had like that.
Eh dont know why, recently i always feel kinda depressed when i'm all alone i guess everyone feels like that ba. Fuck man i'm a guy but i'm always feeling this way, this shouldn't be the case right? Think i'm not getting enough of sex maybe. LOL
Today i chatted with one of my ex colleague working in chevron, i saw his nick and it says "Forbidden fruit always tastes the best." I am curious, and sure it has something to do with sex, so i msged him and asked him. "What forbidden fruit?" He simply replied me with "HAHAA SEX !" My curiousity got the better of me. So i asked "What sia? How many you tasted?" He said "5!" I proceed to ask him when and how he know them? Ok i can honestly trust what he has been telling me as he is good looking, tall and charming and even sent me some photos he took with the girls in order to back up his claims. He told me "one was a model, another one was an ah lian and another one is a mama's girl." Damn! i feel so inferior, but maybe i can't blame myself, some people just have that much luck to fuck!
OR maybe i don't get so much fuck probably because i'm a very down to earth kind of guy who is more interested in what really happened and what is going on around this world than to get involved with fashion, good looking people, party poppers and trendy stuffs. I admit for a few occassion i've been trying to keep up with it, I even become that sort fucktards in clubs and go up and talk to girls. Such a waste of time seriously, though i did succeed but not for long as i dont have the patience and heart to keep my target on track with me. I usually end up being a boring ass talking to them about thing i don't even wanna talk about and avoid msging them and turning them off. LOL. Ok face it, i'm not good in courtships and i think i really suck in socialising with the opposite sex ever since my previous relationship ended. Lost all my charisma dealing with them. Then again i have a negative perceptions of these women i know that i cant just seem to open up to them because to me they are really bunch of hypocritical beings and can never be trusted, of cause ever since that previous relationship that just seems to justified it. I know even this is the fact i can't deny, i think i must think otherwise now. Sometimes, with the fact being laid infront of you, you have to just try not to acknowledge it as hard as you can and start being the fact that you've dreaded all along. KEEP IT REAL. Be the fucker, be the hypocrite, be the exploiter, be the jerk who get all the girls and make all the guys talk bad about you, make everyone talk bad about you because they are jealous! Should i really react this way in order to make myself feel better? I think i should consider, since all the dumbwitted bimbos are being seen together with a badass merciless jerk.
Alrite....10 days....10 more freaking days to ns. HAHA and I'm not yet prepared :(( and still feeling abit emo about my personal life and achievements. I should go to sleep.
