Clubbing is a leisure activity but can only be enjoyed when you're doing with the people whom you feel comfortable with and on the right day, on someday you just have a feeling it's gonna be a plain waste of money. I don't know what am i doing clubbing tonight, probably too bored at home and nothing nor anyone else can spice me up.
These few days. Something happened that does not concerns me at all and its just irritating the shit out of me. Ok i submit to my pride, see i'm always screwing up my relationship with the opposite sex, never ever had i succeed so far in maintaining a respectful, admiring and lovable relationship with a women for long since the last time i decided to remain single. It really suckmeoff into thinking there is a big fucking problem with my attitude. Who am i? I don't know who am i now i can honestly say that. And i am glad i did because this meant im letting go of my ego according to Eckhart Tolle.
Whatever i did, whatever i said had been a 3rd person point of view from my own perspective. In actual fact i'm really tired and moodless to deal with whatever that is happening around me, it just really bores me to death. I suck in EQ i admit it. I try to act sincere which is obviously pure bad acting on my part. I try to be the alpha male but end up exposing what a real wuss i am. I tried to pronounce words properly but i get tongue tied most of the time and jumble up my sentence and stuck at part of it. This is really fucked up, no one will understand how i feel.
So, yet every now and then i put up this expressionless face with occasionally being amusingly retarded just to create laughter from my peers, all these without pure wits and sensible humour, but just acting retarded to get people to laugh at me. Especially when i'm drunk.
Tomorrow i'm going to enroll in a UNI and i'm not even excited about it, it just makes me feel i'm going to waste my $$ on some courses i don't give a shit about. I am merely taking this course and enrolling into this uni because i've no where else to go! How pathetic i can be? FUCK man! ARGHH!!!
This blog just shows the other side of myself, a darker and meaner side of me. I'm fucking mental!
