Positiviness radiates itself, so does negativity.
I think i've been affected by it, it's so contagious, now i'm starting to feel like the whole world is crashing because she didn't replied me. Maybe i'm afterall just another guy in her life.
Haha Vonda Shephard & Dan Hill - Can't we try
Such a nice emo song its really affecting my mood now.
I was quite glad i was able to help jean relieve her negative emotion by a bit i guess. I was so positive just now.
Ok eugene, i guess this is it, now to become positive again, seriously, please i think i'm not positive enough, and i am sure i can do better.
So infatuated with positive eugene you are....i really hope you are going the right path in life.
Great success
1. Attended AMC lecture on Air Transport
2. Made friends with a few of my classmates
3. Make my dear friend happy when she was facing some dilemma
To do tml.
1. Attend 65th batch ord function
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
why so serious?
Why so serious dude?
Just read a news about a girl getting killed in a car accident. Apparently she hitched a car ride with a guy friend and her guy friend sped 160km per hour on a bending road, the guy eventually hit a sign post with his car probably jam breaking in the process and cause the girl to fly out from his car and hit her head on the kerb. She died shortly after.
Fucking sad.
My morals got me on my knees, that's probably the way i'm suppose to feel now. But i'm not feeling that way, instead i'm really worried about her. I think she can deal with it as she seems to be a really strong and independent woman. I would imagine that maybe our relationship could've gone further if nothing had happened that monday morning. Her emotions seems really negative the last time we chatted.
A positive note.
Today as usual i conducted my icct package day 2. An influx of a few soldiers from another company seems to irritate me abit because that is not how the way this system is suppose to be run. Everything should be clear and concise as in the number of people taking icct and which company should be involved. Now i have 3 companies taking together in 1 shot which meant a total of 100 over men taking icct at the same time. Good luck to me, i know everything will go well, just that i hope the grading process would not delay my book out timing.
Great Success
1. Asked my students to do a composition on "What/who/where do i want to be in the future"?
2. Show my instructional ability as an instructor.
TML TO DOS
1. ATTEND DEGREE LESSON AT AMC!
Just read a news about a girl getting killed in a car accident. Apparently she hitched a car ride with a guy friend and her guy friend sped 160km per hour on a bending road, the guy eventually hit a sign post with his car probably jam breaking in the process and cause the girl to fly out from his car and hit her head on the kerb. She died shortly after.
Fucking sad.
My morals got me on my knees, that's probably the way i'm suppose to feel now. But i'm not feeling that way, instead i'm really worried about her. I think she can deal with it as she seems to be a really strong and independent woman. I would imagine that maybe our relationship could've gone further if nothing had happened that monday morning. Her emotions seems really negative the last time we chatted.
A positive note.
Today as usual i conducted my icct package day 2. An influx of a few soldiers from another company seems to irritate me abit because that is not how the way this system is suppose to be run. Everything should be clear and concise as in the number of people taking icct and which company should be involved. Now i have 3 companies taking together in 1 shot which meant a total of 100 over men taking icct at the same time. Good luck to me, i know everything will go well, just that i hope the grading process would not delay my book out timing.
Great Success
1. Asked my students to do a composition on "What/who/where do i want to be in the future"?
2. Show my instructional ability as an instructor.
TML TO DOS
1. ATTEND DEGREE LESSON AT AMC!
Monday, July 28, 2008
live the life
Being yourself is no longer a dream, expressing yourself is no longer a hassle. Live the life and hope the dream, for life is too short to be full of guilts and worries.
I say this because i did something last night, i know it's morally wrong but i believe its conscientious and looking at the positive side, it's a good workout for the ones involved. Nothing emotional but i believe a surge of lust and passion fits the description.
Haven't been getting enough sleeps lately, maybe it's a habit of mine, a really bad habit. I could use the excuse that sleeping is a waste of time, but i know that without sleep i am spending the whole of the following day half asleep.
Like always, the essence of time being alone is the epitome of boredom spent contemplating situations. Make no mistake that i'm feeling a little bit affected by what happened last night, i hope she's really fine with it, she seem a little bit discomfort afraid that things might blow out of proportion. I told her i promise this is not something i would share, as i believe the consequences is unbearable if things gets out of hand.
So let me end my entry with some positive notes.
I believe that man kind alone could change the world with his positivity, that's what i did today, being positive about myself towards my trainees and the close combat lesson i'm teaching. Even though many of them dragged themselves to the hall for the lesson, i manage to give a brief speech to them and hopefully it helps me to conduct the lesson without any difficulties. I believe in stick and carrot method when it comes to controlling these people, i refuse to accept the only way to treat them is by threatening and punishing. Surprisingly despite my lack of sleep, it didn't played any part when i was conducting the lesson and all of them i believe respected me as their instructor.
Great success
1. Completed my first lesson at 1sir, successfully.
2. End my 8 months of abstinence
3. Attended my cousin's 21st bdae bbq celebration
4. Helped wee celebrated her 20th bdae
5. Started to get an understanding of my uni assignment
Things to do TML
1. 1sir icct day 2
2. Tuition with benedict, peiqing, jordan
3. Study
I say this because i did something last night, i know it's morally wrong but i believe its conscientious and looking at the positive side, it's a good workout for the ones involved. Nothing emotional but i believe a surge of lust and passion fits the description.
Haven't been getting enough sleeps lately, maybe it's a habit of mine, a really bad habit. I could use the excuse that sleeping is a waste of time, but i know that without sleep i am spending the whole of the following day half asleep.
Like always, the essence of time being alone is the epitome of boredom spent contemplating situations. Make no mistake that i'm feeling a little bit affected by what happened last night, i hope she's really fine with it, she seem a little bit discomfort afraid that things might blow out of proportion. I told her i promise this is not something i would share, as i believe the consequences is unbearable if things gets out of hand.
So let me end my entry with some positive notes.
I believe that man kind alone could change the world with his positivity, that's what i did today, being positive about myself towards my trainees and the close combat lesson i'm teaching. Even though many of them dragged themselves to the hall for the lesson, i manage to give a brief speech to them and hopefully it helps me to conduct the lesson without any difficulties. I believe in stick and carrot method when it comes to controlling these people, i refuse to accept the only way to treat them is by threatening and punishing. Surprisingly despite my lack of sleep, it didn't played any part when i was conducting the lesson and all of them i believe respected me as their instructor.
Great success
1. Completed my first lesson at 1sir, successfully.
2. End my 8 months of abstinence
3. Attended my cousin's 21st bdae bbq celebration
4. Helped wee celebrated her 20th bdae
5. Started to get an understanding of my uni assignment
Things to do TML
1. 1sir icct day 2
2. Tuition with benedict, peiqing, jordan
3. Study
Thursday, July 24, 2008
positive
I've been positive these past few days, i can feel that my positiveness has really affect the people around me and make people love me more and appreciate my presence. Thanks to the many success quotes, stories, videos i come across on youtube and some storybooks i bought from the bookshops. But sometimes i wondered if i can keep up with these positivity of mine, i mean it's really good and i really feel good about it, even when i'm sick i didn't fail to keep it going. The energy, the joke i came up with and the witty words i timely made.
Alright while i was blogging, someone broke up with her boyfriend, this kind of affected me because i love her so as a friend and i hope i can do something to help her with. Appears that my words alone are useless, maybe i did my best when i show that bit of concern for her already. What happened was, she was caught dancing with a guy at double o by her boyfriend's friend and this guy/gal had to tell her boyfriend what happened. I don't blame her, and probably she had to made some silly excuse, but all didn't went well i guess, they broke up. I'm abit distracted but nonetheless i should remain positive, this positiveness of mine will change the world alone.
Great success: Yesterday and Today
1. Went for all the programmes i intended to attend to (OCS Perf, Uni Orientation, Zouk)
2. Made friends with Samantha finally :)
3. Did a good close combat performance for the OCS JC visit
4. Took MC today with my mother, finally had a day with my mom after a rather busy week. (My sickness is a blessing in disguise i guess :)
5. Comfort a good friend of mine regarding his emotional issue (lol)
Tml to dos
1. Report back to Pasis Laba early in the morning to open the gym
2. Slack in AFC for awhile
3. Drive the car back to my mother
4. Start studying!
5. Teach tuition
6. Attend's Jeanette bdae celebration at dbl o.
Life is beautiful!
Alright while i was blogging, someone broke up with her boyfriend, this kind of affected me because i love her so as a friend and i hope i can do something to help her with. Appears that my words alone are useless, maybe i did my best when i show that bit of concern for her already. What happened was, she was caught dancing with a guy at double o by her boyfriend's friend and this guy/gal had to tell her boyfriend what happened. I don't blame her, and probably she had to made some silly excuse, but all didn't went well i guess, they broke up. I'm abit distracted but nonetheless i should remain positive, this positiveness of mine will change the world alone.
Great success: Yesterday and Today
1. Went for all the programmes i intended to attend to (OCS Perf, Uni Orientation, Zouk)
2. Made friends with Samantha finally :)
3. Did a good close combat performance for the OCS JC visit
4. Took MC today with my mother, finally had a day with my mom after a rather busy week. (My sickness is a blessing in disguise i guess :)
5. Comfort a good friend of mine regarding his emotional issue (lol)
Tml to dos
1. Report back to Pasis Laba early in the morning to open the gym
2. Slack in AFC for awhile
3. Drive the car back to my mother
4. Start studying!
5. Teach tuition
6. Attend's Jeanette bdae celebration at dbl o.
Life is beautiful!
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
busy busy busy week fucking busy
This is a super duper busy week, first and foremost i had 3 days tuition scheduled, then i have to attend jan's bdae party at her hse on sat follow by this wed at zouk and then on friday jean's bdae club outing at dbl o follow by sunday my cousin celebrating his 21st bdae at the bbq pit beside fajar street soccer court. Not yet! And happened that tomorrow is my university orientation. Before that i have a close combat demo to do at OCS for the JC school students, plus this thurs i have duty staff! Friday and saturday tuition, Oh yah Vivi's wants to celebrate her bdae at my house this coming sunday too! DAMN! So many things to do. What's worse? I think i'm falling sick!! Oh man noooo. Where got time? I don't wanna fall sick!! nooo not at this time... Drink more water i must!
Great success
Ok from now onwards everytime i blog, i'm going to mention what successful stuff i acheieved for the day or maybe the day before or maybe if possible the whole of the week if i can remember any. This is because from now on i want to become a very positive person so i will blog down all my success for myself to reflect in the coming future. Good for me!
Success of the day!
1. Slept the whole morning in AFC
2. Help to conduct the demo practice for tommorrow's OCS JC visit
3. Diablo 2 LOD: Reached nightmare act 4! The evil have survived!
To do Tml!
1. GO OCS FOR JC SCHOOL DEMO
2. GO FOR MY UNI ORIENTATION (Before that drive home and change)
3. GO JANICE PARTY AT ZOUK
Digress
I think i'm in love, or maybe you can say i'm in lust. I'm waiting for you to come back, i miss holding you i really miss you so. I don't really know you but ever since that day i think i remember how it feels like to be loved and love again. Might not be true love but at least i felt loved.
Great success
Ok from now onwards everytime i blog, i'm going to mention what successful stuff i acheieved for the day or maybe the day before or maybe if possible the whole of the week if i can remember any. This is because from now on i want to become a very positive person so i will blog down all my success for myself to reflect in the coming future. Good for me!
Success of the day!
1. Slept the whole morning in AFC
2. Help to conduct the demo practice for tommorrow's OCS JC visit
3. Diablo 2 LOD: Reached nightmare act 4! The evil have survived!
To do Tml!
1. GO OCS FOR JC SCHOOL DEMO
2. GO FOR MY UNI ORIENTATION (Before that drive home and change)
3. GO JANICE PARTY AT ZOUK
Digress
I think i'm in love, or maybe you can say i'm in lust. I'm waiting for you to come back, i miss holding you i really miss you so. I don't really know you but ever since that day i think i remember how it feels like to be loved and love again. Might not be true love but at least i felt loved.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
little things does matter
They say if you think small things doesnt matter, try sleeping with a mosquito.
It's a fortune that everynight/day i came home with my mother around, i always have a bottle of water full on my desk. It's this type of small things that keeps me going and make me feel im being taken good care of.
It's nice enough to have friends who really talk good things about you behind your back and regard you as an important part of their life, its little emotions like these that lets you think that life has a purpose and a meaning. Thou shalt always think of positive things, be positive. Most important you must know that everyone has good in them.
Bad things do happen, but nothing can bring me down if i myself refuse to go down,
Laughters everyday keeps the sorrows away. Life shouldn't be taken that serious, everyone needs to enjoy a good joke and have a good laugh at any point of time whenever possible.
When you are at the bottom u can only go up.
Life is such that when you want it the most, there are lesser chance you will have it, when you want it the least. It will find its way to you.
It's a fortune that everynight/day i came home with my mother around, i always have a bottle of water full on my desk. It's this type of small things that keeps me going and make me feel im being taken good care of.
It's nice enough to have friends who really talk good things about you behind your back and regard you as an important part of their life, its little emotions like these that lets you think that life has a purpose and a meaning. Thou shalt always think of positive things, be positive. Most important you must know that everyone has good in them.
Bad things do happen, but nothing can bring me down if i myself refuse to go down,
Laughters everyday keeps the sorrows away. Life shouldn't be taken that serious, everyone needs to enjoy a good joke and have a good laugh at any point of time whenever possible.
When you are at the bottom u can only go up.
Life is such that when you want it the most, there are lesser chance you will have it, when you want it the least. It will find its way to you.
Sunday, July 06, 2008
Should we watch a movie?
This is the epitome of patheticalness. The mother of all failed phrases. I think probably after what happened on Friday, I've really been questioning myself about what i've been doing to my life, my love life. Where do i began, who do i deserve, when do i start. OR WHAT THE FUCK AM I WAITING FOR? WHAT THE FUCK U CHIGGER!
Saturday, July 05, 2008
She doesn't recognised me anymore
She doesn't recognised me anymore, how true, how ironic, how demoralising.
Went to zouk on friday for some dumb ass single party which i think it's a failed event. End up going into phuture of cause.
Entrance was free because gh knows the supervisor working there and he signed in all of us for free. Drank a few free shots which taste kinda crappy at the zouk singles event and went to phuture after that.
Was quite happening at first, ordered 2 jugs shared among the group, it was 1 for 1 so there were a total of 4 jugs. As usual, manage to capitalise on most of the drinks and got quite high. Went into the dance floor hoping to cast my highness charm on some girls, successful on 1 ocassion, failed on some. Eventually it was down to me together with the group i am with to dance it out to the final 2 hours of the tune.
Suddenly, out of all spots in the phuture dance floor, of all locations in Singapore, of all people i was with, i saw someone i haven't seen for 1 and the half year, my gosh...memories flooded my mind, i couldn't concentrate, i couldn't bring myself to enjoy. I saw her. HER, the last HER whom i really really loved thoroughly and truly in my heart...It has to be her. Of cause i doubt she noticed me as she was busy dancing with one of her "guy"friend. I told jan about it...(How ironic it has to be jan i'm telling it to.)
True infact, she has forgotten all about me, she doesn't recognised me anymore, or she does and act as if she doesnt. That was what i did exactly too, i did not approach her at all. I just feel that maybe things should remain like that, no complication nothing, it's all in the memory and none of us should come across each others path again.....haiz.. i really feel demoralised i really feel i'm that insignificant. I'm lost.
Is there no one i could ever love like that again?
Went to zouk on friday for some dumb ass single party which i think it's a failed event. End up going into phuture of cause.
Entrance was free because gh knows the supervisor working there and he signed in all of us for free. Drank a few free shots which taste kinda crappy at the zouk singles event and went to phuture after that.
Was quite happening at first, ordered 2 jugs shared among the group, it was 1 for 1 so there were a total of 4 jugs. As usual, manage to capitalise on most of the drinks and got quite high. Went into the dance floor hoping to cast my highness charm on some girls, successful on 1 ocassion, failed on some. Eventually it was down to me together with the group i am with to dance it out to the final 2 hours of the tune.
Suddenly, out of all spots in the phuture dance floor, of all locations in Singapore, of all people i was with, i saw someone i haven't seen for 1 and the half year, my gosh...memories flooded my mind, i couldn't concentrate, i couldn't bring myself to enjoy. I saw her. HER, the last HER whom i really really loved thoroughly and truly in my heart...It has to be her. Of cause i doubt she noticed me as she was busy dancing with one of her "guy"friend. I told jan about it...(How ironic it has to be jan i'm telling it to.)
True infact, she has forgotten all about me, she doesn't recognised me anymore, or she does and act as if she doesnt. That was what i did exactly too, i did not approach her at all. I just feel that maybe things should remain like that, no complication nothing, it's all in the memory and none of us should come across each others path again.....haiz.. i really feel demoralised i really feel i'm that insignificant. I'm lost.
Is there no one i could ever love like that again?
Thursday, July 03, 2008
kept me thinking
Yesterday some things that happened really opened my eyes wide. Some of my colleagues are just plain bias against us juniors, maybe they are younger they do not know how to tell us straight to our faces, they have to go one big round doing the backstab stuff. But i'm quite ok with one actually telling me that my batch is a bunch of chao keng, i'm fine with that, but the thing is, chao keng in what sense? What i know, my batch they do their job, but some are just using their status to avoid some really pointless bullshit which i feel it's justifiable cause i myself am one of them.
What i meant by pointless bullshit? Ok Army half marathon is one, in the first place, not everyone is fit to join in the army half marathon which i think it's true and not everyone is interested in it either. So they had to force us to join if we do not have status, point being we are from Army fitness centre so we should run as role model for fitness...blah blah dick dock. Shit happens in the army, people starts to fuck u up as if they themselves really gives a shit, or just jealous that they themselves are involved in it and cannot get themselves out of the shit they are involved in.
Ok something out of the army. Tried some stunts last night, went to dbl o despite having to work the next day and end up taking MC.. LOL. Initially was going to zouk but the queue was already so freaking long even when we reached there before 10. It actually ends somewhere near the zouk bridge which is like 200m far away from the entrance. How nice.
So at dbl o it was ladies night too. And of cause. Free flow! For ladies that is. However, due to financial constraint i only ordered a jug of burbon coke and that's it for the night, i was so high i went with my bmt buddy to obar and get surrounded by many difference races especially people from the south asia continent. Indians i meant. Hahah.
After failing to get any targets i want, i went back to look for my 2 sweet lady friends who was drinking at dbl o's ladies bar. hahah one of them got super high and i have to bring her outside to take care of her. Brought her to the boys toilet to pee and bring her outside 7 11 to puke.. LOL how fucked up.. ok long story short. I stayed all the way till 6am and went home on cab. Good day! Took MC the next day of cause. :)
What i meant by pointless bullshit? Ok Army half marathon is one, in the first place, not everyone is fit to join in the army half marathon which i think it's true and not everyone is interested in it either. So they had to force us to join if we do not have status, point being we are from Army fitness centre so we should run as role model for fitness...blah blah dick dock. Shit happens in the army, people starts to fuck u up as if they themselves really gives a shit, or just jealous that they themselves are involved in it and cannot get themselves out of the shit they are involved in.
Ok something out of the army. Tried some stunts last night, went to dbl o despite having to work the next day and end up taking MC.. LOL. Initially was going to zouk but the queue was already so freaking long even when we reached there before 10. It actually ends somewhere near the zouk bridge which is like 200m far away from the entrance. How nice.
So at dbl o it was ladies night too. And of cause. Free flow! For ladies that is. However, due to financial constraint i only ordered a jug of burbon coke and that's it for the night, i was so high i went with my bmt buddy to obar and get surrounded by many difference races especially people from the south asia continent. Indians i meant. Hahah.
After failing to get any targets i want, i went back to look for my 2 sweet lady friends who was drinking at dbl o's ladies bar. hahah one of them got super high and i have to bring her outside to take care of her. Brought her to the boys toilet to pee and bring her outside 7 11 to puke.. LOL how fucked up.. ok long story short. I stayed all the way till 6am and went home on cab. Good day! Took MC the next day of cause. :)
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