The most important blog entries ever made in my life Pt.1

English as it is is a hard subject to master. This entry shall be filled with english that is as good as i had learnt.

It was not long ago that i decided to change my outlook in life, be positive about every single thing that had or would have befall me. Had this not been the case, many a time i could be wailing on my bed when the silent night strucks my window frame.

And resultantly, i met her.

Though i had a few glamorous nights filling my life with brand new lights, the wind had blew and made her emotions faint. And admit i shall, I long miss the love i had when a forthnight ago it was strong as the bark of the tree, long miss the times we spent when the sky turns dark serving the only time we had and Long miss the hugs you gave when at the back of the car we sat. That was what i had and that is why i am sad. So bewildered by the spell you had cast upon me.

For now i may only sigh and hope for the impending journey to be bright. It is this enchantment we call life. Now this be settled and no longer be a hassle. I shall take a bow and end this insert with a respectful statement.

Statement: Either you run the day or the day runs you - Jim Rohn

its complicated

This is it, i don't know what is the matter, and why do everything have to turn out this way.

It was suppose to be fun, and honestly im too tired to mention anything about the situation.

What happened to my positivity? I guess i need to reset my mind now. Things' been too complicated to care about. I SHALL FREE MY MIND!!!

Be positive! My positivity will change the world.

Thanks

Thanks jeanette

You left me stranded

You were the one i thought, you were the one i need, i thought i found you but i think i'm just reaching out too far. I only want you, should i even be given a chance for all the wrongs i had done? Not towards you, but to people who loved me and yet i neglected. Must all these feelings come and go again? Must you be that one of many that have to go through a roundabout in my mind? I really don't know why but i think you are the one i'd have and i'd do anything for.

But why this sudden feeling? Why this similar type of feelings again? Why can't i have a choice? Why must the one i finally thought i would settle down with inflict the most damaging blow to me once again? And again.....and again...It never ends, it had to be like that everytime, just when i'm about to give it all, or i had already done so.

Im hurt, its self inflicted i guess, or probably it shouldn't have had happened at all. Maybe it was all a dream, a beautiful dream, a heart damaging wish that does not have a head to begin and a tail to end with.

I was having a bad day and all i want to is to see you, that, which i couldn't leave it up to me, nothing was my choice to begin with, its all yours, and it had to be like this, im left stranded and wanting more of you, this is probably my pride im finding it hard to overcome.

I thought i was strong, i thought i could handle it, i thought i've been through it and i can never suffer like that again, i don't want to cry... i really dont want to. This is what i brought myself into. Might this be really how i wanted it to be like, a pitiful end and a chance to experience a broken heart.

i will get her!

This maritime assignment is making me crazyyyyyy!!! HAHAHA for the first time i actually felt myself being so hard working doing an assignment by myself! Normally i would finish an assignment by 1/2 days without any in-depth research, and now i'm spending 2 weeks doing it!

Things have changed, words have spoken and seeing is believing. I guess its time i re-evaluate my goals in this quiet night on what i want. By the influenced of Jack Canfield, i therefore bring to you my number 1 desire. To get her! It's been a month since we first dated, I guess i finally know what i want and i'm going to take it slow from here. Yes no doubt its a challenge, no doubt i face imense competition, and no doubt fame and fortune is what she's looking for. For that i promise, i will have both of that just to accomodate her needs.

Im no longer the same person as i was before i got enlisted, i am much more confident, much happier and know what i want in my life. Like i did in my 101 to do list. I mentioned i wanted a Bentley as my car. Yes i'm going to get it by the age of 26 by all means! Stock trading! Real estate! Ship brokering! Im gonna have a Bentley Continental GTC.

Great Success!
1. Did almost half of my assignment
2. Things seems to get better with bei
3. Getting a job in this coming IT SHOW

Things to do!
1. CLUBBING TMR NIGHT!
2. SENTOSA ON SAT!
3. FINISH MY ASSIGNMENT ON SUNDAY NIGHT!

she's mine soon

Last week has been hectic, it was one of the best week i've had, i felt important, i felt loved. Date i suppose turned out to be successful and met her for the following couple of nights. I'm in love, but at the same time i'm in self denial over it. I know it's a big challenge for me but that's what makes life interesting. And i'm going to succeed.

YES finally finished my unit icct package, i finally can have a peace of mind and concentrate more on my studies. She's in camp and that's double the relaxation. And i'm going to miss her alot. The road ahead is long and filled with obstacle, but i'm going to walk towards it with my eyes open, no fear and im going to face the obstacle that's ahead of me. I will not give up!

That's all.. too many things to debrief about and too many things to worry about. So i ain't gonna debrief nor gonna worry at all. Live life as it is every moment everyday =)

Great Success
1. Finished my Unit ICCT package
2. Had a great date with bei
3. Met bei for the 2 following nights
4. Did my assignment's abstract

Things to do
1. Tuition for jamie
2. Date bei this coming wednesday =)
3. Finish my first part of the Air transport assignment

Say what what?

It's a feeling of discomfort. I read a book by jack canefield on the principle of success this afternoon in camp after my icct lesson. Probably the only thing to do in camp when i have nothing else to do besides sleeping.

In the book it says that everyone should have a sense of purpose, should know what they want and be clear about it. The book also reinterates that in order for someone to be successful, he or she has to find positivity out of every negative situation. For example if you lose your handphone, be glad that you're going to get another one, might be a better phone you're getting. So when you lose your hard earned money trying to get a new handphone, be glad you learnt how to buy a handphone with the money you made and thus making you work harder to get the money back..something in this sense.

So now it's a feeling of discomfort that's bugging me, probably the impending date i'll be having tomorrow with a girl. She's hot, young, pretty, cute, sweet, beautiful, she's everything good that i can think of now, one might think i must be in love, because the only reason why one would find someone else perfect is because he/she is in love with that someone. What's discomforting is that i'm afraid i might screw up the date, i mean i know she's looking forward to it as much as im looking forward to the date, just put it this way, i'm not confident enough.

What to do? Now let's apply Jack canefield's principle of finding good stuff out of every bad situation, Ok i'm lacking of confident so where do i go from here? Maybe this shows that i'm not overconfident? Come on positivity gene! positivity! Ok probably now i realise this problem of mine and i'm trying to overcome it, this is good! Positive gene! positive! Things will go well.. things will turn out great, we will end the night with a long and passionate french kiss outside her doorsteps! She will want to go out with me again and she will fall for me! Yes i'm gonna make her fall for me, we will be together before i becomes a one year soldier! Sept 12 that is!!! Yeah gene that's the way! $100 is the budget tomorrow! no more than that! :) Yes gene positivity all the way! Omg i feel this sudden surge of energy! The positivity i guess is radiating throughout the molecular structure of my body and i'm so excited!!!! i'm gonna talk to her in msn as soon as i finish typing my blog
Ok ON TO THE SUCCESS OF THE DAY

GREAT SUCCESS

1. Finish all my ICCT Techniques and get ready for GRADING!
2. Gave my cousin a harsh scolding for delivering a poor maths result! I guess she takes it pretty seriously this time!
3. Got my mom's car key as she's going cambodia for a week! Please let her be safe!

THINGS TO DO TML

1. DATE with BEI
2. Attend Basic stock trading seminar
3. Conduct CCT Mock Grading for 1 sir
4. FINISH MY Air transport abstract on thursday night 10pm!

supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

I guess its the time of the week where everyone would feel kind of blue, Monday blues. I know i know, i feel it too, but I'm not exactly that blue, in fact, I'm quite glad, what better way to end the weekend chatting with 4 beautiful girls i loved?

Words have gone out that I'm a player, I've done things that justify that i am in every sense one, but in my heart i know I'm not, I'm quite disturbed by the fact I'm being regarded as that. I definitely wouldn't want her to know I'm one and i would've been very misunderstood if she is to think i am. I just want to love and be loved. She's my supercalifragilisticexpialidocious after all. And also she's highly sort after :)

Talking about her, I'm actually quite hopeful of her being the one, finally after so long, even though i can see she still wants to have fun, meeting new people of the opposite sex. I am really confident that i might finally find someone to hold dearly and sincerely on to in my life. Single isn't that bad, i met alot of new friends, some good, some great, some left, some stayed. I also met a few lot of beautiful girls that are attached and i learn alot from their experiences, i guess i'm really lucky to have known them, i loved them in every way they are and i won't blame them for some of the things they did, i'm sure people has needs too and sometime we get tired of the life we already had and want to try something new. I understand.

Some positive notes (from a negative situation)

Sometime when things gets too messy and complicated and you feel really tired, you should just sleep it out. That's what i did this morning, I woke up in a very bad state, feeling angry, lethargic and short tempered, dragged myself to teach my 11 yrs old cousin tuition and she ends up not bringing the assessment that i required to teach her, which is maths, so basically i have to touch her english and i did it in a very pissed off manner, literally couldn't be bothered and i gave her my point of view why i think she did it on purpose, i guess she felt abit guilty also, i ended the lesson in one hour, suppose to end in one and the half.

So i went home feeling pissed, tired, waning out, then my mom asked me to help settle the window opening, to close it all so no one would try to do something funny or throw something funny into my house. Eg; throwing cigarrete buds through the window into my living room, follow by replacing the bulb of the toilet light, i did it hesitantly, showing bad attitude and finally told her i'm sleeping and not to disturb me. I slammed the door, played some music and went to sleep.

So i woke up at 5pm this time, feeling things amissed, i know now i'm fully awake and alert enough to know what i'm doing, so thanks to jack canfield, i reset my emotion and my thinking, throw all the bad stuffs away from my thoughts and think of all the positive stuffs, i'm glad i did it and succeeded, i ended up studying for my air transport and bought my own dinner, and finally ended the night talking to some of the beautiful people i know in my life. Love them to bits!

Great Success

1. Did not submit to my lusty needs
2. Had fun at dbl o
3. Get to know her more.
4. Feeling positive once again!

To-do Tml

1. Teach the last 6 techniques to my icct trainees, i'm gonna make it a fun filled lesson
2. Tuition for Beverley 630pm