I need to let this out. I've hardly blogged these past weeks, ive attempted to, but whatever i feel i want to say its not really what i meant to say. What i really meant to say is.
(Third person point of view)
This has got to stop. Eugene, you need to get a hold of yourself. Something is not right, you are entirely not happy with things that are going on with your life and yet you're embracing it, accepting it just because you feel needless to do anything about it. Is this the correct way? After the trip to genting have you know more about yourself? Have you woke up entirely from your half asleep behaviour? Engaging in conversation that you know you don't give a damn about. What has happened? Party every week, intoxicating yourself till you don't know who you are. What happened to you? 2 months ago you were the most sought after guy, every girl wants a piece of you, and apparently after some foolish things u did, you totally lose it all. Nothing seems right anymore, everyone seems so corrupted around you that you feel you have given up on being rational. You make fool of yourself in places you love to hang out in. You made a fool of yourself infront of your close friends. You made a fool of yourself to the girl you love. You made her avoid you.
(My self)
I don't know what is going on, everything seems so out of my control. I want a good life. I want to be loved and i want to love. Its depressing, i couldn't find a genuine one. Or am i just avoiding it? What am i doing i don't know. I really feel lost as of now. What have i been doing? What are all the self help books for? Losing 640 RM in genting yet i feel nothing at all? What is this? Please someone, i need help, i need to get hold of myself. But it seems there's no one to help me. I can't help myself. I need love...badly... from some one. I need love. It's time to reset my life. So what do i have to do? I need to formulate a plan from tomorrow onwards doing my duty staff.
Great success
1. A trip to genting to relax
To do.
1. Finish my assignment by friday 26th Sept 2008.
